Inside Out, Outside In: A Conversation with Baikaew (So 12)

Why did you choose this particular concerto to perform?

Baikaew - Thinking back, I have been writing creatively when I ‘felt like it’ since I was very young- around 7 years old. My main inspiration and first exposure to poetry was seeing my mom’s old Thai poems and my grandpa’s poems in English that he wrote to my grandma. Intrinsically, there was a nuance in poetry that very much called for me ever since. As I grew up, I have just found myself returning to writing poetry, almost subconsciously, time and time again.

I started to find my footing just around 2 years ago when I told myself I’d try to put something together with the poems I already had. Frankly, nobody knew I was writing them. Truthfully, my style of poetry does not parallel any other poet because they too, have unique voices. I have learnt to embrace mine more. 

During my time at school, I explored literary techniques and revelled in analysing poetry during my IGCSE’s, until I came up to Sixth Form and didn’t get to continue this at school due to choosing to pursue STEM (science subjects). But again, I kept returning to the collection when everything else was quiet or irrevocably loud, or when my head and heart could not figure themselves out…and the only ‘way through’ was poetry. 

So yes- my interest has definitely grown during my time here, and I am grateful. 

Do you have a favourite poem from the collection, or one you closely resonate with at this moment in time?

Baikaew - ‘Chrysalis’ (from section one, ‘Ponderings’) is one I resonate with at this moment. 

The chrysalis itself is the formation of the protective shell as a butterfly undergoes transformation. 
In the middle of my exams, there is an encompassing tenseness and apprehension for the end, as if I am in the midst of a metaphorical metamorphosis. In a sense, this is true in many stages of discovering oneself and going into the next chapters of life- stepping out of childhood into adulthood after graduation, taking the person I am today forward. 

This poem is about the renewal of self, and that this can happen as many times as one would like. It could be a crucial event, or simply a choice to change. It pays omage to how nature is radically transformative, and that the literal physiological reconstruction of a caterpillar into a butterfly can represent how we can do so too. A butterfly flies out of its chrysalis after a period of being broken down and rebuilding itself- mysteriously beautiful, quiet and elusive. We, too are butterflies in many iterations. But despite the change, the butterfly simultaneously is still one and the same as the caterpillar it once was by the echoes of its patterns and nervous system that remains. 

What themes do you find yourself exploring most often in your poetry & what messages do you hope readers will take away from your book?

Baikaew - The human experience. 

There are things that are required to sustain life, but there are also things that we stay alive for. Connection, love, art, music, films, color. 

It is a collection of essences of life: Nature, the dynamics of society, paradoxes, humour, pain and love, chaos and peace. It is in all of us. 

Hence, ‘Inside out and Outside in’-  what we perceive from the outside being expressed, as well as how the outside world receives us as beings. An ever-flowing and eternal existence. The subtitle ‘The Unspoken in Verse’ alludes to the fact that this collection is what we don’t say aloud, but is what organically exists within us…all expressed in verse. 

I hope that readers will know themselves and the world better as they read my poems and that they find something that speaks to them. I also hope that it makes them feel and live more deeply and embrace their humanness more. 

There is a section at the end that will hopefully bring readers more peace, as ultimately, I believe we could all benefit from being still and present within ourselves all while living life more vividly. 

How did you balance writing and editing your book with schoolwork and other responsibilities?

Baikaew - The 2-year journey of the making of this book, although fulfilling, was long winded and tedious at times but also made me develop a new found self-trust that cannot be gained any other way. 

As mentioned, I never ‘planned’ or ‘forced’ myself to write on schedule or to edit. It  was whenever my priority of school work was done or during school breaks that I would sometimes unintentionally stay up through the night, in the world of words. I used my free time to figure out how to edit, format and finally publish the poems that I had written, as well as put my own artworks in to illustrate the experience of reading.

I did this all in silence, not even knowing if it would work out- sometimes my intuition was the only thing I had to believe in. But alas, while managing my other commitments like leadership, music, academics, I managed to make it happen with the many little blips of time I had to write…they definitely added up.  

When I requested for and got the ISBN and verification of publication from the National Library, having the mock up in my hand, it hit me that I had actually made it happen. 

What advice would you give to other students with creative passions they’d like to develop? Has the school been supportive in your journey?

Baikaew - To students that have creative passions, it is you and only you that knows how much you desire to create something. It is a step of much bravery. It does not have to be within rhyme or reason. It does not matter what you have chosen as your main career path, please keep kindling your creative fire as that is what makes you feel alive. Perhaps you want to have a non-creative career like becoming a lawyer, an entrepreneur, a doctor, an engineer…any profession you are aspiring towards. Nothing is stopping you from being creative as well. It might even enhance your work in so many areas. 

Bring out the paintbrush on a random Saturday night while it rains. Play and improvise some jazz like no one is listening. And make ‘it’, as if nobody will ever see it. That is where something so real comes out. And whatever the response to it is, let it be- because you have already spoken your soul out. 

I do believe we are all artists, and we can all enhance our lives with some form of creativity- it never needs to be ‘perfect’ or made in some particular way. Just create. It is a gift that we are able to compile our experiences and spin them into works of original expression. It can be a source of such joy. 

Mrs Cole was one of the first people I told about this book- I gave her some of my poems to read and she helped me comment on them in the early stages of forming the collection. She gave feedback that enable me to go forward in my plans, for which I am very grateful. Mr Case has encouraged me on the art I chose to put in especially, and how each section could be represented. He truly felt that this was something I should make happen, and it was with his excitement about it that gave me a newfound energy to complete the book. I thank them both enormously for advising me and for the continual support. 

Where can people find your book?

Baikaew - I am currently in exam season so after my exams, I will be able to continue and fully launch the book so that it would be more widely available online both as an audiobook and digitally. As of now, it is via a direct order process.